Our homes
“The concept of intimacy, within the home, is particularly related to our multiple selves and which layer of identity is active in a specific location. “
“We spend a lot more time, inside of our homes now, as they are much bigger than the early primitive structures, and our transformation of the materials, that make up our homes, is a million fold more sophisticated. We have, quite literally, created palaces for ourselves as homes and these amazing buildings reflect more of who we are rather than the elements they might be made of. Where we would have taken refuge inside these early homes from wild animals and bad weather, we now live inside our homes as mini universes, containing a variety of rooms with varied and different purposes. I would confidently say that many of us spend far more time inside our homes than anywhere else. We generally do not live outside, amid the elements, much anymore and have created these wonderful interior worlds with all the available mod cons with which to entertain ourselves.
Privacy and individuality have become cornerstones of our existence and these concepts are clearly reflected in the look and design of our homes. We wish to maintain the walls around our homes, around our individual rooms, and around ourselves, and our families. Sharing space is perhaps something we may do at work, or school, and or at play but it is not (with the exception of shared housing, which is usually a student/young adult phase of which we rapidly grow out of, but there are of course individual exceptions to the rule) a lifestyle we wish to emulate at home. The concept of intimacy, within the home, is particularly related to our multiple selves and which layer of identity is active in a specific location. We are different people, depending upon where we are operating from, and the you, who walks and talks in the street and at the market, is often very different from the you, who lives inside your house.
We all usually have aspects of ourselves that we refrain from showing when we are out and about, and we are often more complex and sensitive at home, when we are safely ensconced behind the walls; which demarcate our abodes from the street. Imagine for a moment that there were no walls, anywhere in your existence, and how that would affect you? Would you be less openly sharing of who you really are with friends and family or perhaps more revealing of the deeper parts of your true nature, when surrounded by acquaintances? It is interesting to ponder and then ask yourself why? What is it about walls and the spaces around you that change your expression of who you are?
Your home is a very real reflection of who you are and as a model of your interior universe, its walls are expressions of the demarcations within you and your various personality constructs. I always think of the Japanese, and their houses with paper thin walls, showing that their barriers of privacy are almost more symbolic, than material, and that their sense of privacy is inside their heads; rather than in their walls. The vibrations of other lives must reach through the paper and be felt within their skin and yet they maintain the illusion of a private existence. I would posit that those of you who have worked in one of those offices, which has been partitioned, like a rabbit warren, by walls which only reach two thirds of the way to the ceiling, and yet after a short time you are carrying on phone conversations as if everyone else cannot hear you. We are masters of creating our own illusory dimensions, with or without material constructs supporting us. “
©Sudha Hamilton – excerpt from his book House Therapy: Discovering who you really are at home.
